Well said Bhai!

Bhai was over at my place last night.
I told him about this blog and he opened the link and sat down to read it.

This was the first post he read. He read the first four words aloud.

And pat came the comment. "Well said, didi!"

High maintenance

Yesterday three of us were having lunch in office canteen- A, L and I.

Somehow we started discussing about shampoos and conditioners. And A asks- “Yaar conditioner vohi hota hai na jo shampoo ke pehle lagate hai?”

Before I could hold-my-head-in-disbelief and scream at him, L from the other side of the table adds- “Dude, aren’t they both same?!?”

Shoot me!!  

Thank goodness it wasn't cleanser, toner and moisturizer that we were talking about.  

Need a match

Sometime ago, I bought a pair of shoes from a roadside stall in Bandra. I really adored them, they were very cute but they didn't match with any of my clothes. Finally, I gave up and convinced myself I needed to buy a dress that matched those shoes.

I bought one.

I think it was pretty crazy to buy a dress that cost Rs. 5200 to match shoes that cost Rs.120.

Fast forward...tonight..

I was cleaning out my closet when I found this really cute and b-(ea)-chy shorts that I had bought from New York. I had completely forgotten about it. I tried it on- loved it. I want to wear it but it does not go with the *place*

Now I've got to buy a holiday that matches it :D

Maybe this or this

Small talk

It's always a problem to find auto-rickshaw in my area. Sometimes I have to share a cab/auto and today I shared the auto with this girl who talked a lot. Let me call her talkative girl- TG.

After exchanging names and addresses I realized that we had a common friend from IIT...irrelevant piece of information!

So she asked me what I did and I asked her the same. Interestingly she was a writer/journalist.

Here's a small portion of conversation from 15 minute auto ride-

Me- So, what do you do?

TG- I am a freelance writer. I've had a few articles published in XYZ paper.

ME- Oh, that nice.

TG- I also write books for kindies.

ME- Interesting! In my mind, I was like :o What the hell is kindies. For all I knew kindies could’ve been a new genre! I didn’t ask.

After a few minutes...

TG- I love writing books for kindies. It’s so much fun.

I had to ask!

Me- I'm sorry, but what is kindies?

TG- Oh, it's a short form we use for kindergarten.

Me- Aaah.. (Voice in my head... Too bad you don't write books for undergraduates ;) Lol)

Blue and Pink

You know you’re one of the guys when they ask you to come along for a trek on a Saturday.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you agree and get up at 5 am on a Saturday and take a local train.

You know you’re one of the guys when they say all of us are going to the top.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you have to search for some thick bushes so that you can have some privacy while peeing.

You know you’re one of the guys when you do manage to reach the top.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you wake up the next morning with excruciating body ache, especially in your butt, thighs and calves.

You know you're one of the guys when you commit to going for a trek again whenever they plan, notwithstanding the body pain.

You know you're not one of the guys when you spend the whole of Sunday wondering whether your aching legs will allow you to wear your heels to work on Monday morning.

You know you’re one of the guys when you beat them at bowling.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you’re sad that your nail broke while bowling.

You know you’re one of the guys when you decide to go down the red slide in Essel World.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you have to hold your bag against yourself coz you were wearing a white t shirt which got wet.

You know you’re one of the guys when you do a ‘bottoms-up’ on a beer mug.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you have to run to the rest room after the ‘bottoms-up’ and they send a girl friend after you to check if you're ok.

You know you’re one of the guys when you scream ‘that was an offside, you jackass’ (at the referee in a football match).

You know you’re not one of the guys when you don’t like a player because he does not look cute.

You know you’re one of the guys when you decide to register for half marathon.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you have to look at a calendar to see if the date is good.

You know you’re one of the guys when you discuss Fight Club at 4 in the morning and argue that it’s one of the best Hollywood movies.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you end the conversation by saying ‘And Brad Pitt was so hot!’

You know you’re one of the guys when you can watch Die Hard again and again.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you secretly cry in Die Hard.

You know you’re one of the guys when you stare at you-know-what in this picture.

You know you’re not one of the guys when you think what if I had the same.

BBPPLG

This time when I went home I did some talking with my 9 year old cousin- Chunnu, who’s in third standard. I was talking to him about his school, his friends, his teachers and he was telling me all kinds of stories very enthusiastically. He told me how they play football in break time, how their class teacher keeps changing the seating arrangement and how they avoid sitting next to girls (!!! :-|), how they sing prayer before lunch, how they have to clean the school ground if their shoes are not polished, how they have to share their lunch boxes on fridays, and how he wants to sit next to this one boy in his class whose mom cooks wonderful maggi and lots more.

He asked if I could help him in his homework and I gladly agreed to do so. He took out his hindi notebook. Damn, it’s been ages since I wrote anything in hindi!! He had to finish two ‘paath’ (lessons). While he was finishing up his hindi homework I took his book, *saras bharti* and read a few chapters. He was amazed at how fast I could read. He declared that I wasn’t reading anything, according to him, I was only turning pages. He was paying more attention to when I was turning a page than his homework. Man, I remember how I used to feel the exact same way when I was his age... =))

After hindi he took out mathematics. His homework was 15 sums on dividing a 4-digit number by a 2-digit number. Very proudly he told me he could also do the division for 5-digit numbers and then asked me how many digit numbers I can divide :)

I was flipping through his notebook when I found a piece of paper on which there were some acronyms. He picked it up real fast and when I asked what that was, came an answer “didi yeh kuch nahi hai, mere friend ki hai.” He was visibly embarrassed. His mom started laughing and told me that they do this timepass in their free period.

I had to do something about it. I had to know what was there in that paper. So when he went to sleep, I took out the paper *evil evil* Shalu and I laughed really hard at that and I had to, just had to steal it from him. Ok don’t judge me on that, next day I told him that I am going to keep that paper. He hesitated initially but then said you can’t take it just like that. So we struck a deal. He thought about it for 5 minutes and sheepishly said “aapko do kaam karne padenge. (It was dinner time.) Dal ke saare tamaatar khane padenge. Mere liye uncle chips ka packet laana padega abhi.” Innocence :)

Here’s what it was on that paper, he’s going to go red one day when I’ll show him this-

DON- Danger of Nepal (by danger he meant dangar. Dangar means animal)

JBT- Jama baavli tared

MMH- Mental medical house

BDPKLG- Budha daaru peeke ludak gaya

NCC- National chappal chor

BBPPLG- Budha bagpiper peeke ludak gaya ;))

M- Mota

P- Patla

MH- Mota haathi

Swim

I decided to go for a swim in the evening.

I felt very sleepy through the course of the day.

I thought of canceling the swimming plans and heading back home and going to bed early.

I told myself, "Yeah right! As if I will sleep early".

I overcame laziness and decided to stick to my swimming plans.

I called my friend and went for a swin at the club house.

I swam (read played around in the water!) for about 45 mins.

I was really tired and very thirsty.

I was happy with the workout and all the extra-calories I burned.

I decided to treat myself to a nice and healthy dinner at Subway.

I went to Hiranandani.

I got distracted by all the restaurants.

I almost walked into Papa Jones, but then decided against it when I remembered I was there to eat at Subway.

I decided to (only) check out south Indian restaurant Sankalp.

I was amazed at the variety of things on menu and wondered why didn't I come there.

I spotted garlic butter idli and masala medu vada and thought of trying it once.

I was all excited and placed an order for it.

I waited eagerly for the dish to arrive. Gossiping with my friend kept me busy.

I was very impressed with the way food looked.

I loved the taste.

I managed to finish the dish and called for one more serving.

I realized that I just undid the effects of my evening swim.

I felt bloated and fat.

I thunked my head against the table.

I resolved to head straight to home after swim from next time.

Pure-Vanilla

A few days ago my sister sent me a blonde joke. It is the best joke I have ever heard. It goes like this..

One day a high class blonde girl was walking by the river side with her friend when she spotted a crocodile.She turned to her friend and screamed, "Look! Lacoste!" =))

The other day I had gone to Haiko for some weekend shopping when I picked up a new nail paint. Very nice soothing beige color. I came home, kept everything down, switched on the tv, got comfortable and painted my nails. I was doing this girly-girl-blow-on-the-fingernails and admiring my nails when I saw that nailpaint was called "pure vanilla."

I wondered, so they've started making scented nail paints now. Nice!

Surprised that I was, I brought the little bottle close to my nose and sniffed it.

No! It was the same old acetonish smell. It wasn't anything like vanilla!

I saw another nail paint bottle sitting pretty on my dressing table, it was called berry-licious. I never tried to taste it.

It was the shade which they named 'pure vanilla'. Ofcourse! What was I thinking :-/

I guess I had my blonde moment that day. But in my defence I have never seen vanilla :)

FRIENDS

Ross: What is Chandler Bing's job?
Rachel: Oh! Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing!
Rachel: Oh, well... and he carries a briefcase!
Ross: Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It's, um, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, he's a transpons... transponster!
Monica: That's not even a word!

FRIENDS fans will know this. While watching this episode tonight I was wondering how true this phenomenon is. How many times have you been asked about your work?

I am faced with certain few questions every time I meet my old friends and cousins. My answers are usually less than five words for each question. A sample conversation goes like this:

Someone: “So, how’s your work going?”

Me: “It’s going good. I love it.”

Someone: “I heard you’re in bank?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Someone: “You’re a graduate in chemical engineering, right, what are you doing at the bank?”

Me: “Yes I know, I didn’t want to go in core chemical side.”

Someone: “Are you manager at bank?”

Me: “No, I am analyst, junior most post.”

Someone: “Which bank?”

Me: “Deutsche bank.”

Someone: “What!?!”

Someone: “What is your work about?”

Silence. There’s no way, I know, to answer this question in few lines and explain them what I do. After I say a few things about my work, I’m cut…

Someone: “So MBA over?" (MBA? Who's doing an MBA? If you mean Masters in Chemical Engineering, yeah, that's over.)

And so on…

After one such conversation it struck me - instead of being glad that most of them at least know vaguely that I have abandoned engineering and plunged into banking, I go "What buggers! They're supposed to be my close friends and they don't even know what I do!" without wondering for a moment if I know for sure what the hell they do.

I mean face it, your friends, your cousins... do you really know what they do? I’ll confess- I don't. I mean I know some are in IT, some are in banks, some are doing their MBA degrees, some are doing random things, but if you ask me exactly what they do, which company they are in, what their designation is, what they are studying, I have no clue most of the time!

When you become friends with someone, the first thing you find out is what they do. The closer you get to your friends, the less it matters what they do, and after a while, it stops mattering at all. And it comes naturally.

Conclusion: That’s why Chandler doesn’t bother whether Monica and Rachel knew his occupation, because he knows they are his close FRIENDS. J

B'day Gift

Conversation with a friend over sms:

Friend: What do you want for your birthday?
Happy and content me: That’s very nice of you. But I want nothing, just world peace :D
Friend: Not even shoes?!?
Forgetful me: OMG, yes..how could I forget shoes. Ofcourse shoes! I want shoes!
Friend: Mother Teresa in Jimmy Choos ;)
Me: :D